Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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