butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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