if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
