so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
being pregnant is like rehab
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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