it's like iHOP with fire
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
