Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize