im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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