why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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