yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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