My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
