my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
they need to just BURY HIM!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
