Got a toothbrush?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
