I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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