I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
