...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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