You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
