no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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