i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
