plz talk dirty to me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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