I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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