i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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