ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish you could order shots online.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
