I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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