Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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