so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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