winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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