first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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