She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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