guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
