she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
