well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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