i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He literally asked permission to hit on me
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
