I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
