I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
