the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
