Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize