come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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