I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I didn't notice because vodka
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
