A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
