I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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