I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize