i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
