i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
