Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
