i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
babies were throwing up all over the place
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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