Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
