i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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