If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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