question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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