i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
