The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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