he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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