I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
