How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just high enough for therapy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
