remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
